FIRST OF ALL, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT INTERNATIONAL HAPPINESS DAY WAS A REAL THING. IS IT ABOUT SPREADING HAPPINESS OR TAKING A LOOK AT THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY? HAPPINESS IN MOMENTS, IN PEOPLE, OR JUST AS THE ABSTRACT IDEA? APPARENTLY, THE DAY STARTED BACK IN 2012 AS THE UNITED NATIONS WANTED TO PROMOTE HAPPINESS AS A GOAL FOR ALL HUMAN BEINGS.  

Happiness as a goal. I guess that isn't the worst idea, but I still can't even see happiness as a goal until I define it. (Can you tell I have rigidity issues?) Or at least allow myself to be okay with the idea of it not being defined. Happiness as a goal sounds easier said than done.
As I go through a period of transition, I have been struggling to find my usual happiness. I once found that feeling in structure, checking tasks off of a list, planned days, and feeling needed. Now as I search for my next step in my career, I don't have those things to hold onto anymore- forcing me to redefine happiness for myself.

 
I still have found other ways to find small moments of fleeting happiness, but I have been feeling so lost in this time. My happiness comes in waves, just as my anxiety does. 
It helps me to practice gratitude for all that I have: keep a running list of what I am thankful for. I truly am so lucky and loved and am in no way trying to make this a sob story. I have just been taking more time looking inward, defining happiness along with all the other emotions that find their way to the top. The definition is constantly changing and I am growing in more ways than I have ever imagined. 

Right now the items on that happiness and gratitude list include friendships, the places I have seen in this world, my family, forgiveness, and learning new things. I am trying to allow myself to let myself be lost in the moment, as it keeps being reiterated that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.  
My happiness levels are usually at an all-time high when I am connecting with others. We are all so much more similar than we seem. Under the surface, all trying to survive. I want to hear about what makes you happy, share moments of vulnerability, and learn about others. Is happiness your current goal? How are you working towards it? 
For me- I am just trying to take it one day at a time. Some days, I have to take it by the hour. Focus on the good, embrace the unknown: Happiness not guaranteed.