"You Don't Have to Be Pretty. You don't owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don't owe it to your mother, you don't owe it to your children, you don't owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked 'female.'" - Erin McKean
It has been so intriguing to watch how fashion ads have changed over the years. Stores used to sell the latest jeans with photos of a thin girl who looked just like anyone else--now that has changed to a unique woman, who I have never seen before but who I see a bit of myself in. Women of different sizes have been featured in many campaigns that now celebrate inclusivity and beauty beyond size. The body positivity movement has been a major force in the media and advertisements as of late, celebrating those who have never seen themselves represented across screens before.
When the body positivity movement first gained traction, I rejoiced. This is what I had been waiting for, to see someone who looked like me being splayed across TV and advertisements. To feel like I had a place in the fashion and beauty world–actually, just a place in the world in general.
I’ve had such a long journey with the acceptance of my body and what I look like. Every piece of me that I hold dear to my heart now has been under scrutiny from others and the media before–whether it be my deep colored skin, my weight, my curly hair, my lips, my height–you name it. My self-esteem has a lot to thank the body positivity movement for.
Being able to see other bodies that are being celebrated and women who are able to be themselves in spaces that did not include them before has been such an eye-opening experience for me. I’ve begun to hold myself up higher and love all the pieces of me that I previously wanted to disappear. I’ve finally become self-accepting and participate loudly and visibly in self-love.
But now, I’m here asking, “Do I still need the body positivity movement?” Or at the very least, “What is the goal of today’s body-positive movement and does it still serve society and me the way that it did when it first began?”
I can see the obviously positive effects of inclusivity. Women who view a more diverse range of body types are less likely to make a negative comparison about their own bodies. This makes absolute sense for a society in which body dysmorphia, anorexia, and bulimia run rampant–especially amongst younger women. While I can thank the movement for messages like, “You are beautiful just the way you are,” something doesn’t feel as authentic when they use a plus size model who you may not have originally labeled as plus size, thanks to her proportional waist and curves in all the right places–highly edited of course. Then, there is the blatant marketing tactic of using a diverse body cast in advertisements aiming to provide options for all bodies…. but only offering plus sizes online. As if the marketing campaign welcomed me, but the actual store didn’t really want me to be seen in their shop.
The storyline of, “I didn’t love myself… until HE loved me just the way I was” is also what drove me over the edge… like, WHAT? Instead of turning inward to find value within ourselves, this type of message told me that I wasn’t valued until someone else saw beauty in me.
Maybe this isn’t a question for just the body positive movement specifically, but for the entire industry itself. Not until the body-positive movement rose, did I see someone I could compare myself to in the beauty/fashion industry. Now that I see representation of myself, I am not sure I want to identify within this space anymore. As the years have gone on and plus size models have become much more apparent in fashion, I am left questioning as to why I have to be pretty. For who? To be loved? To warrant the space that I take up? The way I look doesn’t dictate that at all.
I don’t owe prettiness to anyone. I hate that every body-positive campaign defaults to, “Everybody is beautiful.” I know that the intentions are there. Promoting inclusivity is such a positive message… but I wish there were more campaigns that proclaimed “You don’t have to be pretty to be worthy.” You are valid in your existence; you do not have to find someone to love you to explain why you deserve to be seen.
We as a society place so much value on aesthetics, symmetry, and items that are inherently “beautiful.” I don’t want my worth to be based on what I look like. I don’t want to have to find beauty in my flaws to warrant my existence. I don’t want to want to be pretty.
I can see the obviously positive effects of inclusivity. Women who view a more diverse range of body types are less likely to make a negative comparison about their own bodies. This makes absolute sense for a society in which body dysmorphia, anorexia, and bulimia run rampant–especially amongst younger women. While I can thank the movement for messages like, “You are beautiful just the way you are,” something doesn’t feel as authentic when they use a plus size model who you may not have originally labeled as plus size, thanks to her proportional waist and curves in all the right places–highly edited of course. Then, there is the blatant marketing tactic of using a diverse body cast in advertisements aiming to provide options for all bodies…. but only offering plus sizes online. As if the marketing campaign welcomed me, but the actual store didn’t really want me to be seen in their shop.
The storyline of, “I didn’t love myself… until HE loved me just the way I was” is also what drove me over the edge… like, WHAT? Instead of turning inward to find value within ourselves, this type of message told me that I wasn’t valued until someone else saw beauty in me.
Maybe this isn’t a question for just the body positive movement specifically, but for the entire industry itself. Not until the body-positive movement rose, did I see someone I could compare myself to in the beauty/fashion industry. Now that I see representation of myself, I am not sure I want to identify within this space anymore. As the years have gone on and plus size models have become much more apparent in fashion, I am left questioning as to why I have to be pretty. For who? To be loved? To warrant the space that I take up? The way I look doesn’t dictate that at all.
I don’t owe prettiness to anyone. I hate that every body-positive campaign defaults to, “Everybody is beautiful.” I know that the intentions are there. Promoting inclusivity is such a positive message… but I wish there were more campaigns that proclaimed “You don’t have to be pretty to be worthy.” You are valid in your existence; you do not have to find someone to love you to explain why you deserve to be seen.
We as a society place so much value on aesthetics, symmetry, and items that are inherently “beautiful.” I don’t want my worth to be based on what I look like. I don’t want to have to find beauty in my flaws to warrant my existence. I don’t want to want to be pretty.
